Good readers of this blog, I have something to share with you all.
"My Immortal." A Harry Potter fanfic.
This is, quite simply, the worst fic I have ever read.
The grammar and spleling is horribl, the plot makes absolutely no sense, and the characters are so remarkably OOC it's hilarious.
The MC of this fic is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, a seventh year Slytherin, and an amazingly obvious Mary Sue. She is "goffik", although any actual goth reading the fic would immediately punch the author in the face. She's usually seen with her "stanist" "goff" friends, who cut themselves, cry blood, and are, for some reason, all in Slytherin.
Many of JK Rowling's creations have been renamed. Hermione becomes "B'loody Mary", Ron becomes "Diabolo", and Harry becomes "Vampire."
The fic's "plot" is centered around "Vlodemort" trying to get Egogy to kill Vampire and there's also a lot of drama between Egogy, Drako and Vampire, and there's time traveling shenanigans.
You know what? Forget that last paragraph. There's no plot here. There is, however:
Sex. (Badly written.)
Torture. (Badly written.)
Concerts. (Badly written.)
Homo-bisexuality. (Badly written.)
Clothing descriptions. (Badly written, and making up about one third of the fic.)
If any of this offends you, fear not! The first sex scene is as follows. "He put his thingy into my you-know-what" The rest are similar. Anything that would have been remotely offensive is rendered hilarious.
There are only two reasons this fic should exist. The first is that it is the work of a Troll. If it is, I congratulate you, sir or madam.
The other reason is much more terrifying. If this fic was written in earnest, I fear for humanity.
Regardless, seek it out. Find it, read it, laugh.
But please, don't take it seriously.